A Genuine Conversation

Having a conversation can be a form of leisure activity when two or more people share thoughts and exchange ideas. Sometimes, feeling each others emotions through it can be relieving too.

As a child, I grew up learning through conversations had with my family, relatives, and friends I met since pre-school. I remember those frustrating moments when I failed to decipher enigmatic situations from these conversations. There were tantrums, tears, and even hiding myself from the world when conversation became one-way street.

We learned a lot that children share nothing but the truth. Why children and not adults? What about the me now?

Children are the most honest critics. They will say ‘You’re funny’, but also ‘You’re pathetic – go away.’ – Dylan Moran

Over the years, society evolved. I changed too. In mid-20s, I became more self-conscious than I was as a child with surroundings and people I connect with. I care about who, what and how they think of me, and if they would accept me for me. In fact, this judgemental and competitive world shaped my thoughts, attitudes, and behaviours towards others.

The genuine conversation I used to have as a child slowly disappeared. The joy of having a meaningful conversation turned into a mere superficial chat. Exchange of ideas became wary. Emotions expression became restricted. Laughters may not be as authentic either. All because of fear to being judged, accepted and difficulty in trusting people around us. Are colleagues our friends? Can we trust a stranger whom we’ve met a few months ago? I was very certain that good intention will never go wrong. It didn’t go wrong, instead they got twisted and I was hurt. I was not happy.

I was attached to 5 different organisations throughout my 15 years of career. I walked out with 5 genuine friendships who care deeply to keep in touch. The rest, I could barely remember – Who are our friends, really? Just because we are connected on Facebook and so we are friends? No.

In the past few weeks, instead of Facebook-ing, I took the effort to reconnect face-to-face with friends I have lost touch with for years, including colleagues who became friends, friends and neighbours during my childhood. We all had a meaningful conversation on our previous journey together, how our lives have evolved after, laughed at silly mistakes we made, and shared achievements we accomplished. I didn’t need to suppress my thoughts, restrict my emotions, force a laugh, or to go through non-genuine laughters from strangers who identify themselves as my friends.

These were the moments that revived my inner-child again – these were the honest conversations I was longing for –

A genuine conversation that enhances minds and make learnings interesting.

“We live in worlds our conversations create.” ― David Cooperrider