Here I am, resuming my writing journey after eight months of procrastination. The thing is I haven’t forgotten about writing. I was juggling to adjust into my new rhythm of life. My life after maternity which I am trying to adapt with a full time job and two kids on board. I’ve seen countless times of writing inspiration goes by in a blink of an eye which could have been worthy pieces of content. Pity, what a pity.
Life with two kids has been daunting and fulfilling at the same time. It is different from plotting milestones to climbing the corporate ladder. Children are equally hard work but it’s completely personal, unpredictable, and full of emotion rollercoaster. I can be an organised mother planning ahead just to get disappointments or run into pleasant surprises without any plans.
Having said that, being prepared has a lot to offer and it minimises disappointments. Kudos to all mothers out there who are so good at multi-tasking and always reassuring with forward thinking back-up plans. Regardless of high and low moments, there is always a moment I find myself smiling at challenges thrown at me. I am a big fan of “stop, start, and reset” motto throughout this motherhood journey. The affections my children provide from sunrise towards bedtime meant the world.
Fear of missing out, I went back to work after ten months of maternity. Guilty, I couldn’t help but worried about job stability and security amidst unpredictable economy. I find myself trapped in FOMO state mainly motherhood penalty. A situation where I could potentially hinder my career advancement and growing imposter syndrome after a long career break. I could have trusted the employment system. I should have faith in prevailing gender equality. Instead, I gave myself a compulsory self-development agenda as preventive measure.
A woman is still a woman, a mother is still a mother.
I strive to have it all. The truth is there is always an opportunity cost to every decision made. Taking a step back would mean that I have to work twice harder compared to others in catching up. All because the world has evolved while I was busy growing a human.
Getting into today’s my new rhythm of life took me six months since re-joining the workforce. This started with establishing a consistent routine with my kids, one and three years old respectively. Easier said than done considering their age gap that comes with a variety of needs and demands. Until I marry their similarities gradually that I was able to adapt their routine into my life, predict my personal space at best, and find a fair balance between work and personal life. For that, I thank my organization for believing in hybrid working model and making it possible for mothers like me to continue fuelling our career ambition and contribute our immense value to society.
