If I had to describe how my professional life has been in the last few months, I would say as ambiguous as a roller-coaster ride in June and July, and as adventurous as skydiving in August. Honestly, imposter syndrome has been my biggest enemy where I constantly instigating myself with unnecessary self-doubt if I am seasoned enough to step up. The question is, how do we know when we are ready for the next big thing?
I returned to workforce from maternity in September last year and accumulated 10 months of fear-of-missing-out only to turn them into apprehensiveness overnight. I spent most of my time observing than contributing and difficult to fit in especially with new way of working. My team pushed back my opinions because they weren’t credible enough, not required or anyway overridden by higher authority managers. Of course, business has moved on and so did people. Rejection is the last thing anyone needs alongside imposter syndrome.
Yet, rejection can be a double-edge sword depending on how we see it. Occasionally, I was disappointed for being belittled, overlooked and talked down. I was frustrated with these rejections and desperately want to overcome. The only way to do it is to earn a voice on the table which requires weighty efforts. Patience is first and foremost a prerequisite alongside cancelling unhelpful noises. Learning by observing, active listening, connecting dots to understand, staying curious and self-study all equipped me with relevant knowledge and gave me confidence to challenge status quo.
Gradually, I proactively reached out for help which eventually strengthened my relationship with peers. It takes a lot of courage to network and learn from others. At first, I felt uncomfortable due to self-imposed thoughts about how others would perceive me. “Oh, you don’t know that?” is the last thing I want to hear. Or any possibility that could make me feel stupid. Thankfully, I overcame this with grit and thick skinned enough to better at managing it over time. Never try, never know.
Busy solidifying knowledge and understanding people, business, and industry, opportunities came to light when I least expected them. There’re relevant roles advertised linked to my expertise. Countless times of “what if” I asked myself whenever something popped up – whether to take the leap, make the change, step down to step up, or just move on to another organisation entirely. I thought about these all the time. Have I been complacent? Would I excel in a new world or do I really need a change? Is it too late to change, how would change affects me and my young family and more importantly, would change makes me happy?
I wondered if these questions were self-doubt or a self-assessment exercise. I reached out to hiring departments in confidence to further assess my skills match and singled out those that’re worth pursuing. Without second guess myself, I was transparent in my approach throughout because opportunities can only go to those who are serious. By taking bold moves. I knew I was ready to sweep the next big thing.
“For courage, there must be something at stake. I come here with nothing to lose.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed
Whether I have undertaken my professional life strategically or by chance, an attempt has so much to offer. If I haven’t taken the first step, I wouldn’t have explored the unknown. I could potentially sleep with regrets forever by not knowing. In short, I prefer “what if” over “should have“. Because I’ve given my best shot while keeping an open mind with indifferent expectation, I came out greeted by stages of challenging interviews that positively refined and reinforced my confidence level. Having said that, it is imperative to say that I did my homework and always show up prepared.
How do we know when we are ready for the next big thing? There is no binary answer to this question. It is a journey to explore with intention. Readiness is as subjective as it can get. The way I define readiness is seeing myself get carried away by curiosity with strong desire to succeed. Instinctively, I decide on where I can develop and grow as a human – a wife, a mother, and a professional. Readiness is when I can imagine a future of an opportunity with me in the driving seat, making a difference.
