As we approach the final week of 2025, I want to pause for a moment to reflect: how this year has been for me? and the lessons learned. Where has the time gone? The ‘Snake‘ year slithered through twelve months calendar in the most unpredictable way. A rushed year with many twists and turns, any pace out moment was a luxury.
The future is about today
Started the year with a trip to Asia, thirteen hours flight with two under four years old toddlers to celebrate Chinese New Year for the first time in their life. It was also the last time we enjoyed our large space home in Asia. Life in general is affordable and easy. Having said that, I felt more like a tourist this time, distanced from relatives and friends. On the other, I appreciated home familiarity and the idea of attainable luxury in Asia. I returned to London feeling confused with plentiful emotions stemming from happy, sad, disappointment, doubtful to ideas of what it could be.
Life goes on, we don’t always get what we want especially when it comes to wishful thinking. The life that I left behind is never coming back. Let bygones be bygones. It is not about what it could be. What it can be from what and how I pursue today are far more meaningful than crafting possibilities from the past.
Curiosity motivates me
So, what do I want to pursue today? I procrastinated about taking a step forward in my career since becoming a mother. The fear of juggling motherhood and professional life crept up to me. I want to be there whenever my children need me, so keeping a 9 to 5 job with some flexibility makes a lot of sense. I also want to climb the corporate ladder and establish my professional credential in this part of world. Am I too greedy for trying to have it all? There are underlined expectations from these ambitions. Imposter syndrome has been my biggest blocker.
Yet for the first time in a very long time, I pushed my boundary even without certainty if I would be ready for the next big thing. I discerned that readiness is when curiosity takes the lead with strong desire to succeed. Accordingly, I earned and accepted an internal job promotion and took added responsibilities.
There is only one picture of success: a soaring professional working mother.
Be courageous
I have an enormous respect for working mothers who can go the extra miles in the corporate world. Imagine the positive reinforcement that can happen to other women who share the same ambitions? I am proud and confident, still I am apprehensive and nervous as hell about living up to others expectations especially when it comes to higher level stakeholders.
The remedy to apprehension is confrontation. The courage in supressing face value and admit what I do not know, to clarify expectations, and to have an opinion even if it sounds absurd. Of course I am vary of others judgement and anxious about job security. Again, having courage is a risk I took to feed my curiosity. It is better than living with regrets for doing nothing.
Embrace imperfection
As an outcome, I made peace with imperfection. I cleared my work diary in advanced for my daughter’s first big school week only to realise I messed up half of them. I adapted school pick-up and drop-off routine like a Super Mom. Highly efficient, leave on time to arrive on time. That said, public transport can strike whenever. ‘It is what it is‘ is a common phrase I use to unburden myself from faults that ain’t mine. Of course, I’ll have to suck up to being a mother who turns up late for pick-up. Likewise, leading a team at work doesn’t make me Mrs Know it All. In fact, I count on my team to deliver extraordinary results.
Make hard choices
First hundred days into my new role, I cannot underestimate the power of making hard choices. The provocation comes from how much time I allocate for my children, husband, work, and myself. Finding a balance is easier said than done. Family will always be demanding. Relationship requires nurturing, routine is established to keep, and success comes with opportunity cost. What about me-time? I question my choices, prioritise who and what matter, dedicate 101% into committed projects, let go mediocre tasks, seek out needed support, and sacrifice nice-to-have for must-have. Nice-to-have like TV dramas and manicure sessions as trade off to grooming myself into the new role.
“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. ..” – Albert Einstein
Invest energy in what’s worth
Curiosity motivates as much as it drains me mentally. A pragmatic person like me finds it strenuous to just accept an answer without making sense or connecting the dots. Logic is better than Picasso. Who, why, where, when and how. Because exploring requires thinking, feeling, and sometimes doing, I’ve become petty in where I spend my energy. There are matters which are not worth dwelling into. Perhaps maturity plays a part where it enables me to make little shifts and see through immaterial circumstances. Getting emotionally worked out in battles I have no control of is a waste of energy. The little dramas that we’re often caught in will soon be over. In other words, focus energy in where I can make a difference is utmost importance.
2025 wrap up
I had a bumpy year with tricky challenges and many crossroads encounters, “If I take it, I’ll be in trouble. If I don’t take it, I smell trouble“. I count on curiosity, instincts and logic to lead the way. I also find it difficult in comprehending my circumstances, let alone explaining well to others. Some may think the life I have today comes easy, like I am just there at the right place and time. What they don’t see is an ambitious working mother living abroad who strives to do it all. As much as I feel envious of others, I reflect this on choices I made and lessons learned from continuous hardships.
Bring it on, 2026 year of the Fire Horse, what have you got to offer?
Photo by Li Zhang