Balancing corporate chaos, motherhood, and life abroad.

Just like every year, the final quarter is always daunting for any organisation. Rushing to close the year before the big holiday season while anticipating budgets and plans for 2027, I am no exception.

For the past three months, I’ve been tirelessly working to deliver on all fronts, no matter the cost. My personal motivation lies in keeping my team’s energy high and, more importantly, finishing the year in a meaningful way by achieving the professional goals I set for myself. I would like to assume that my initiative to start in advance back in August somehow paid off. I cannot afford to assume otherwise.

I remember the quiet moments in August when many colleagues were off enjoying the summer, while I sacrificed peak summer sunshine to get ahead at work. Sending my daughter off to camp was another one of those guilty calls. The holidays I’ve accumulated could probably reach the moon. But I am not doing this blindly; I certainly expect a payoff at the end of the year. Well, a decent bonus next year, perhaps?

Yesterday, I finally brought my team together to deliver our final output, answering the expectations set by corporate stakeholders. Considering the lack of staff and the demanding needs to keep the business ticking while executing ambitious plans for next year, I must say we successfully delivered our well-thought-through plans on a high note. It was a massive relief after many weeks of hard work, dedication, and persistence. I felt incredibly proud to have anchored this leadership responsibility.

It’s a different kind of feeling, though. As a daughter, I grew up thinking girls were meant to get married and look after the household, while boys were groomed to lead and rule the world. Full stop. Opportunities were an afterthought because this is the common traditional Asian mentality. My brothers took priority ahead of me. Who listens to me anyway?

As a mother, my maternal instincts tell me exactly what the non-negotiables are that I must shoulder. As a working professional, I’ve gone through volatile career episodes, humiliating at times, to get to where I am today. A decade of my career chapter has been spent asking this daily question: “Why am I consistently playing a supportive rather than a leadership role?”

In the earlier part of my career as a sales promoter or sales executive, it was part of the employer’s tactical plan to manage key clients who were dominated by men. Opposites attract, not necessarily because of my sales calibre. When I was hired as a marketing executive, I ended up running around my general manager like a secretary managing his calendar.

Year on year, as I gradually moved around industries within the corporate arena, the leader has always been a man. I work in marketing, a field that often acts as a subset serving these leaders. Only in recent years have I seen positive changes where women have been given a seat at the table. Still, if I measure this on a clock face, it has probably moved by only a single minute. Evidently, United Nation’s latest article echoed the same.

Hypocrisy is real. It’s easy to advocate for women’s empowerment to gain positive publicity. But when you truly put actions under a microscope, they are not nearly as magnified as the published words.

At home, I am fortunate that my husband sees me as an equal partner. Household chores are split based on what we are genuinely good at doing to calm a chaotic household. I hardly cook, mainly because my chef husband cooks three times faster and more delicious than I ever could. More than that, I didn’t have as much interest in doing it every single day. But I am a fast organiser, I sort out non-kitchen-related chores, and I know exactly where everything is kept.

Having said that, the kids’ neediness is an abstract concept. They choose whoever they want to feel comfortable with, and most of the time, it’s nurturing old me. My mental load at home is generally higher compared to my chef husband’s. Whereas his mental load is occupied by mandatory in-person and unpredictable hours in culinary world, and constantly exploring ways to earn hours for more family time.

Living abroad on the other side of the world also makes everything feel heavier. Back home, I am the only girl in my family. Abroad, I am a foreigner and a minority in every sense. Having a voice takes courage. I am responsible for myself as much as my little family every second, without help readily at hand.

I also find it increasingly difficult to constantly update how my life has been with my family and relatives back home, simply because there is so much going on and so little time. With the time I do have, I only want to share the best amidst the chaos and negative news we hear around the world. Who really wants to know my hardship? I haven’t had any family or relatives visit me in three years. If I don’t pick up the phone, I might not hear from them at all. And when I do hear from them, I can usually expect problems to talk about. That breaks my heart when I think about it.

How do I stay strong?

I keep going.

I cherish achievements, big and small, and celebrate wins whether at home or at work. Little advancements mean I am progressing. I deliberately put behind negative thoughts to make more space for positive ones. I stay away from conversations that would break me, and I enjoy fun chats with my kids during the evening school run.

I do have moments when I break down in tears rather than supressing my emotions.

I prioritise myself and my little family ahead of anything else in the world. Most of all, I stop worrying about how others see or judge my priorities or the effect I bring as a result.

At the end of the day, balancing the corporate tightrope, motherhood, living oceans away from home, and supporting a chef husband isn’t about having it all in a single, flawless package. It’s about holding space for the hard truths while choosing joy anyway. If you are sitting at your desk tonight feeling the weight of the fourth quarter, or wondering if your quiet sacrifices are being seen, I see you. We are building our tables, one brick at a time.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below: How are you protecting your peace and celebrating your wins as this year winds down?