Winter blues in London: a Malaysian mum’s take on SAD.

Wet and cold. Since the clocks went back a couple of weeks ago, the daylight cannot wait to shut down by 4pm. Subconsciously, my autumn mood has switched from orange vibrance to feeling isolated and lonely. It’s weird. I haven’t had such a depressing feeling before. Winter blues in London, “I want to get out of this.”

From Tropical Heat to London Gloom

Having grown up in a tropical country for three decades, I complained about the never-ending hot spells above 30 degrees, the seasonal monsoon rain that made driving difficult, and old-fashioned places without air conditioning. Over time, air conditioning became a privilege and weather forecasts were just nice-to-know. So what if it was raining? We still went ahead with our plans, just covered and indoors. Back then, I yearned to experience what four-season countries are like. The idea of autumn and winter fashion was something I thought about alongside travelling abroad. Otherwise, summer clothes shopping was a frequent item on my agenda. I just couldn’t get enough, and the shopping environment played a big part in my daily life.

Since moving to London six years ago, my life has taken a 180-degree turn. Extreme heat is limited to less than a month, whereas wet and cold days far outnumber it.

Weather Talk vs Food Talk

Locals talk about the weather every day, and this is also how they start a conversation with the offer of a cuppa. If it’s gloomy, they talk about how gloomy it is. You can imagine, and do the maths, on how often gloomy conversations pop up. Back in Malaysia especially in Klang, it’s all about eating: “have you eaten yet?” and “where do you want to go for dinner?” are common phrases, even if you’ve just eaten! Supper at midnight is also fairly common, taking advantage of the cooler night breeze to spend time outdoors.

School Runs, Layers and a Practical Winter Wardrobe

Today, I’ve adapted to having the weather forecast on my phone’s home screen, even more so now that nursery and school runs are part of life. In my early years in London, I learned the hard way what it meant to treat a jacket as an afterthought, even in a cool summer. I assumed I’d be OK in 23-degree weather, but it turned out I was under-dressed. Regardless of whether the jacket is a nuisance while commuting and moving between outdoors and the Underground, I’ll just bring it anyway. You can put on extra layers, only to realise how humid it gets underground and end up carrying them around in narrow Tube carriages. For a pragmatic mother like me who does the school run on foot, my kids take priority. How I look or what I wear comes last. When it’s drizzling, I sometimes forget what I’m wearing.

Over the years, I have put my summer clothes, transported from Asia, into cold storage. The upside is that I have saved a lot by not buying as frequently. Winter clothes are bulky but durable by default, and less convenient to store in a small apartment. For all the practical reasons I can think of, I only need a few good ones. In other words, practical and easy-to-match universal colours came into play. The hectic pace of motherhood and corporate life has somehow reduced my appetite for enjoying this winter season even further.

When the Weather Starts Affecting Your Mood

Gradually, I realised that the weather is affecting my life. I prefer to stay indoors, snuggled up, winding down with a cuppa and doing a sanity check with myself. Leveraging my chef husband’s culinary expertise, we eat out less and have more soupy dishes on the menu to get by in the cold weather. Bustle and fuss are things I avoid.

Simplicity is the best, yet it can make me feel less vibrant. I also wondered why there is such a long holiday season in December, when I needed work to occupy my mind rather than being cooped up indoors with childcare and limited outdoor activities throughout the cold months. I have questioned myself many times about whether I am feeling depressed living in the UK. Having moved countries twice, from Malaysia to Singapore and then to the UK, did not stop me from considering this possibility, although my kids are the biggest part of the equation.

It was only through recent conversations with colleagues that I came across the term “weather depression”. It is not a formal medical term, so I looked it up and found Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, a type of depression that follows a seasonal pattern and can affect mood and energy levels, especially through the winter months. For many people, symptoms tend to ease as spring and summer arrive, although this is not the same for everyone. I am no medical expert, so if you recognise these feelings in yourself, it is worth speaking to your GP or reading the NHS guidance on SAD. I was surprised to discover all this, yet it made me appreciate my life in Malaysia even more.

What Helps Me

Warm, soupy dishes. Thanks to my chef husband, a steaming bowl waiting at home after a damp school run is a small daily comfort.

A proper cuppa. Snuggling up with one is my daily sanity check.

Talking about it. A chat with colleagues helped me put a name to how I was feeling, and saying it out loud made it feel far less isolating.

Staying occupied. Work gives my mind something to focus on when the days are short and the outdoor options are few.

So, Who Is in Favour of November?

Honestly, November still feels wet, cold and a little lonely. But naming how I feel, eating well and keeping life simple make the grey months easier to bear.

What gets you through the grey months? Share your tips in the comments below.